I have always prided myself as someone that knows what men want and still I cant seem to be in a long lasting relationship with that man I actually want. So when people ask me for advice on how to make their relationship last, I tell them what I know.
To write about this, I had to consult some men and they shared ideas with me and you will be surprised.
The first problem is nagging. This is a cardinal sin our womenfolk are constantly guilty of, no man wants to live with a chronic nag in the house. He spilled some beer on the floor, problem; he doesn’t lift the toilet seat, problem. No man alive loves to come home to a hen pecking wife. I had a friend who lived in a three bedroom apartment with his girlfriend but he always slept out because he couldn’t get 8 hours sleep in his own house because his girl wont let him have peace of mind. All he wanted was warmth, peace, patience and affection.
There is the stud myth that a lot of girls have on their curriculum vitae requiring the guy to be TDH (tall, dark, handsome) and the ridiculously hilarious love stories adapted from mills and boons books, but BREAKING NEWS ladies, there are no perfect studs on this earth except in porn flicks and hints magazine. So what, the man loving you is short, accept it and move on. Is he being the kind of man that you want, then get on with life. Ladies should learn to compliment and commend their men, adapt the art of understanding and learn to give that man a chance to love you despite his physical appearance and whether your friends will laugh at you.
What about the good in bed aspect. This is where things can get a bit tricky, it is a fact that roughly 85 percent of ladies do not experience orgasm but that doesn’t mean that men don’t try to make it work. A friend once said,
Up til a few years ago, I used to wallow in ignorance and actually thought I was a gift from heaven to girls in bed til I discovered it was all choir rehearsal. Man, was I devastated.
He went on to say..
Communication is the key.It is essential in a relationship. These women should open up and diplomatically tell us what they want us to do to make it a two way thing not one person’s pleasure.
Men generally like food and as a lady you don’t have culinary skills, then zoom off to catering school immediately. Yes, not all men embrace pounded yam and garri which is what a lot of modern ladies are afraid of; but at least a bit of kitchen skill is a very big advantage. You might not know how to make all soups, but two or three types wont be bad. It is the hobby of some men to eat out but once in a while, a lady surprising her man with a big plate of homemade rice and stew wont be bad. Though men have different opinions of what and how they expect their partners to be, culinary skills is still a big plus. Some men share such opinions..
I don’t want a wife that will cook indomie, if she is going to make indomie for dinner then she has to call me early to warn me. In this way, I prepare my mind for indomie – Efe
There is nothing a man looks forward to at the end of the day like a hug and kiss at the day and 30 minutes later a hot homemade food in his stomach – Emeka
I was born with home meals and then I got into a relationship with fast foods for about 7 – 8 years, even gone to low and high places to eat. I am a traveler so I always eat out but having that woman at home with my meals is my right woman any time, any day – Ifeanyi
The next aspect is where a lot of women have major problems in their relationships. Make him feel like a king. Not every man is Kobe Bryant that gave his wife all his three mansions and 75 million dollars, not everyman is financially strong or can buy you that laptop or Brazilian hair that you want but making him feel that he has satisfied you goes a long way. Congratulate him on his ideas even if its the dumbest thing since John Okafor became Mr Ibu, it makes him feel that you are actually listen to him.
Even if you earn more, even if you made a 1st class while he flunked out with a pass, irrespective of all that, a man who doesn’t feel like he runs his family will never be happy – Emeka
This might sound false but men would like to see women more in their natural look. With the introduction of false lashes, long Brazilian hair and fake nails, some men claim they don’t know the difference between their partners natural look and artificial look. So ladies, take note maybe sometimes you could leave your natural hair for a while.
We might not always know what men want but at least we got some tips from the men. They can never know what we want but am sure they have a little idea of what we want. With the little we know and the little they know, we can make it work.
Image Source: askmen.com
Written by Adaoha Kay & Leo Udenka